476116765_122116203140646148_1437544277450873292_n_720

"Dear White Woman, Dear Black Woman" by Bonita T. Hampton Smith

 

Inclusivv is proud to partner with Bonita T. Hampton Smith to elevate hope and healing among women. You can join "The Love Movement" and support by:

• Watching the recorded conversation
• Purchasing the book
• Sharing with friends and colleagues
• Leaving a review! 

Watch This Interview

This interview was recorded by Inclusivv during the Inclusion & Belonging Journey on February 19th, 2025. We recommend watching in full-screen mode.

Golden Nuggets:

💡 “Love will have it no other way.”

– A love-centered culture ensures dignity, respect, and belonging.

💡 “Guilt and shame will not serve us. What will serve us is responsibility.”

– The shift from feeling bad to taking action.

💡 It’s hard to hate up close.”

– The power of proximity and relationships in breaking down prejudice.

💡 We are better than doomsday.”

– Refusing to be consumed by negativity and fear.

💡 “We are born in love, but we are taught to hate. The good news? We can unlearn.”

 

 

💡 “Resilience should not be necessary for survival.”

– A profound challenge to the glorification of struggle.

💡 “The stories we tell ourselves shape our reality.”

– Challenging biases and rewriting the narratives we believe.

💡 “Be the Daryl.”

– A call to courageously engage with those who think differently.

💡 "No qualifiers or quantifiers for love. Love doesn’t do anything but love."

– Love as an unconditional force.

💡 “We can dismantle fear by building connection—one conversation at a time.”

Key Takeaways

Powerful takeaways from this conversation with Bonita T. Hampton Smith.

1. The Power of Love-Centered Leadership & Culture

  • Love-centered consciousness shapes the way we think, speak, and act.
  • A true culture of belonging ensures that everyone is valued—not just included.
  • Love is a tool for both personal and societal transformation.

2. Healing Racial Divides & Fostering Understanding

  • Storytelling is a powerful way to dismantle biases and build bridges.
  • Moving beyond guilt and shame—the focus should be on responsibility and action.
  • "It’s hard to hate up close." – The power of relationships in breaking down prejudice.

3. The Role of Women in Leading Change

  • Women are natural nurturers, incubators of ideas, and culture shapers.
  • Coretta Scott King: "If the soul of the nation is to be saved, I believe you must become its soul."
  • The feminine leadership qualities of compassion, collaboration, and listening are needed now more than ever.

4. The Importance of Inner Work & Emotional Intelligence

  • Self-reflection is key—regularly assess your thoughts, biases, and emotional triggers.
  • "We are born in love, but we are taught to hate. The good news? We can unlearn."
  • Emotional resilience should not be a necessity—society must be built so that survival does not require struggle.

5. Courageous Conversations & Building Bridges

  • The "Daryl Effect" (inspired by Daryl Davis) – engage with those who think differently to foster mutual understanding.
  • The goal is not to change minds, but to seek understanding and plant seeds of connection.
  • Curiosity over judgment—"Why do you believe what you believe?"

6. The Power of Storytelling & the Role of Media

  • Media narratives shape perceptions—be mindful of what you consume.
  • "We must divorce media from shaping our mindset."
  • Share real, raw stories that foster connection rather than reinforce division.

7. Taking Responsibility & Action

  • "Guilt and shame will not serve us. What will serve us is responsibility."
  • Recognizing that no one votes to be harmed—people act based on their level of enlightenment.
  • Shifting from judgment to curiosity—"What role do I play?"

8. Psychological Safety & Emotional Resilience

  • Creating spaces where people feel safe to share without fear of judgment.
  • "We must not allow the outer world to dictate our inner peace."
  • Learning to self-regulate emotions before reacting.

9. Empathetic Leadership & Feminine Wisdom

  • Leadership today requires empathy, collaboration, and active listening.
  • "We can birth ideas, shift atmospheres, and change culture."
  • Emotional intelligence is a leadership superpower that fosters trust and inclusion.

10. Breaking Down Fear & Misinformation

  • Much of societal division comes from fear of the unknown.
  • Dr. King: "Men hate each other because they fear each other. They fear each other because they don’t know each other."
  • The antidote to fear is connection—one conversation at a time.

11. The Role of Responsibility in Social Change

  • "It is not our responsibility to carry the weight of the world, but it is our responsibility to lighten the load."
  • Each person has a role in dismantling harmful systems—starting with their own awareness and actions.
  • Responsibility is not about guilt—it’s about taking meaningful action.

12. Small Actions Create Big Change

  • Even small actions matter—kindness, conversation, and curiosity create ripples.
  • "Plant the seed, water it, and trust that it’s working—even if you don’t see immediate change."
  • The ripple effect: one act of love can transform a community over time.

13. Unlearning & Rewriting Our Narratives

  • Examine the stories you’ve been told—are they true or just inherited beliefs?
  • "Do a thought audit—what beliefs are you holding onto that no longer serve you or the world?"
  • Choose narratives that uplift, heal, and connect rather than divide.

 

Closing Thought:

"Love never fails." – When we lead with love, curiosity, and responsibility, we create a world where everyone belongs.

TRY INCLUSIVV

Experience a Civility Workshop

Haven't yet experienced our civility solutions? Be our guest to our next public Civility Workshop.

Attend a Demo Workshop