What if we told you that most workplace conflict is not about disagreement...
It’s about disconnection?
In an era where polarization is rising and burnout is the norm, HR leaders are no longer just problem-solvers. They are bridge builders, culture shapers, and guardians of trust.
That’s why Inclusivv partnered with SHRM to host a webinar that every HR professional should watch:
"From Conflict to Civility: Tools to Transform Tension into Trust"
led by Inclusivv founder and civic innovator Jenn Graham.
Jenn has spent over a decade designing structured conversations that help people connect across differences. Her TED Talk on finding common ground has inspired thousands, and her work has been recognized by Conscious Company, the Atlanta Business Chronicle, and SHRM’s Better Workplaces Challenge Cup.
In this powerful session, she didn’t just talk about conflict resolution.
She gave us the tools to completely reimagine how we respond to tension at work.
Here’s what she shared.
Why Workplace Civility Isn’t a “Nice to Have," It’s a Business Imperative
We hear it all the time: “We don’t have time for this.”
But the truth is, you’re already spending time on it—13% of your time, to be exact. That’s how much time HR professionals and people managers spend repairing damage from incivility, according to SHRM’s research.
Consider this:
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193 million acts of incivility happen daily in U.S. workplaces.
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94% of employees say a civil culture is essential to their mental health.
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58% say incivility harms them more than regular workplace stress.
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And 66% believe their manager or supervisor could have done more to prevent it.
The cost is massive. Lost trust, poor retention, lower morale, and burned-out teams.
But the opportunity is just as big.
When you create a culture of workplace civility, you unlock creativity, collaboration, and innovation. You reduce conflict escalation. You boost retention. You save time and energy. You create an environment where people want to stay and grow.
The Inclusivv Mindset Shift: Conflict Isn’t the Problem—Disconnection Is
Most people think conflict is bad. At Inclusivv, we see it differently.
Conflict is a sign that something matters. It means someone cares enough to speak up. The real danger isn’t conflict. It’s silence. It’s disconnection. It’s the moment someone gives up trying to be heard.
To build a more inclusive workplace, HR leaders and managers must shift from avoidance to engagement, and that starts with a new mindset.
Here are three core mindsets we teach in all our civility trainings:
Curiosity
Instead of assuming you’re right, ask questions.
"What else might be true?" "What don’t I know yet?"
This opens the door to understanding instead of judgment.
Empathy
Conflict usually stems from unmet needs, not malice.
When people feel seen, they stop trying to prove themselves.
You don’t have to agree with someone to say, “That makes sense” or “I hear you.”
Humility
True leadership is being open to other perspectives.
Try saying, “Thank you for sharing that. I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
It’s not about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about creating space for others to speak too.
These mindset shifts don’t just de-escalate tension.
They create the conditions for real inclusion.
Introducing the GRACE Framework: A Tool for Conflict Resolution
One of the most powerful takeaways from the webinar was our GRACE Framework.
Developed by Inclusivv to support facilitators and people leaders, this tool provides a step-by-step approach to navigating conflict in the moment, without freezing, fumbling, or avoiding.
Here’s how it works:
G — Get Grounded
Before you respond, pause. Take a breath. Check in with yourself.
Ask:
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What’s the outcome I want here?
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Will my response bring us closer or push us further apart?
This moment of grounding interrupts the fight-or-flight response and brings you back to purpose.
R — Reflect and Reframe
Look beneath the surface. What need is trying to be expressed?
Instead of hearing, “You don’t care,” reframe it as, “You’re feeling overlooked.”
This helps you move the conversation from accusation to collaboration.
A — Acknowledge Emotions
Say what you see. “That sounds frustrating.” “I hear that this matters to you.”
Acknowledgement is one of the most powerful tools we have. It helps people feel seen without making the conversation about blame.
C — Collaborate on Solutions
Shift into problem-solving together.
“What do you think would help us move forward?”
This creates buy-in and builds trust, especially when people have been hurt or feel ignored.
E — Express Gratitude
Even in tough conversations, gratitude builds bridges.
“Thanks for your honesty.” “I appreciate you talking this through with me.”
This closes the loop with care.
The GRACE Framework is now being used by managers, DEI leaders, and HR teams around the world to navigate tough conversations with confidence.
How to Handle Microaggressions with Care and Courage
It’s one thing to talk about conflict in theory.
It’s another to know what to say when something harmful is said out loud.
At Inclusivv, we train teams on how to respond to microaggressions in real time using two tools coined by academic and activist, Loretta Ross:
Calling In
Use this when you want to address an issue privately and compassionately.
Try:
“Hey, I know that may not have been your intention, but that comment could be taken the wrong way. I thought it was worth a quick check.”
This assumes positive intent while still holding space for growth.
Calling On
Use this in group settings when something harmful is said publicly.
Try:
“Can you say more about what you meant by that?”
“How do you think that might land with someone from a different background?”
This invites reflection without putting someone on the defensive.
These two strategies help teams navigate harm without creating shame.
They keep people in the conversation, instead of shutting them down.
Practice Makes Culture: Workplace Scenarios You Can Use Right Away
If you want to build a more civil workplace, you need to practice. Here are three scenarios we use in our workshops that your team can role-play right now:
1. A politically charged comment disrupts a team meeting
Use Calling On to slow things down and create reflection.
Ask, “Can we pause and consider how that might impact others in the room?”
2. A manager dismisses a concern about burnout
Use GRACE. Reflect their emotions, reframe the concern, and co-create a next step.
Try, “It sounds like you’re carrying a lot. What kind of support would make a difference?”
3. An employee feels excluded from a decision
Pause to get grounded. Then ask, “What would help you feel more included moving forward?”
This kind of practice creates a culture where people are prepared, not just reactive, when conflict shows up.
How to Build a Culture of Civility, One Habit at a Time
Big change doesn’t always require big initiatives. Sometimes, it just takes consistency.
Here are four micro-practices you can start today:
Start meetings with a shared agreement reminder
Read aloud one conversation norm, like “Listen to understand” or “Speak with respect.”
Pause before giving feedback
Use GRACE to check in on your tone and intention before you hit send.
Model curiosity in every meeting
When you hear a different opinion, say, “That’s an interesting point. Can you say more?”
Celebrate courageous conversations
When someone leans into discomfort, name it. Appreciate it. Normalize it.
These small acts help civility become part of your team’s muscle memory.
Why Inclusivv Is Leading the Civility Conversation
At Inclusivv, we exist to create spaces where people feel safe to speak and brave enough to listen.
We’ve helped organizations around the world build stronger, more inclusive cultures through the power of structured conversation.
Our Civility Trainings and Workshops are designed for HR leaders, DEI professionals, and people managers who want to:
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Reduce conflict escalation
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Equip teams with real-time communication tools
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Foster psychological safety
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Build a culture rooted in trust and respect
We don’t just train. We transform the way your people relate to one another.
Through proven frameworks like GRACE, real-world practice, and interactive dialogue, we help teams become more human, more connected, and more resilient.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is workplace civility and why is it essential?
Workplace civility is about showing respect, kindness, and consideration in everyday interactions, especially during tension or disagreement. It’s more than politeness. Civility is what creates trust, safety, and a sense of belonging at work.
When civility is present, people feel safe to speak up and collaborate. When it’s missing, misunderstandings grow, morale drops, and teams break down. Civility directly impacts employee well-being, retention, and performance. For HR leaders, fostering civility is one of the most powerful ways to build a thriving culture.
How does the GRACE Framework work?
GRACE is a real-time tool that helps people navigate conflict without shutting down or making things worse. It stands for:
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Get Grounded: Take a breath and pause before reacting.
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Reflect and Reframe: Look beneath the surface. What might be causing this?
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Acknowledge Emotions: Name what you see. "That sounds frustrating" goes a long way.
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Collaborate: Ask for ideas. "What do you think would help us move forward?"
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Express Gratitude: End with appreciation to reinforce connection.
It’s a simple model that works in everyday conversations, heated moments, and high-stakes meetings.
What should I do when someone says something politically charged?
Start by staying calm and grounded. If the comment causes harm, it should be addressed. Use a "Calling In" approach in private. Say, “I know you may not have meant it this way, but I wanted to share how that might have landed.”
If it happens in a group, you can "Call On" the moment to invite reflection. Try, “How might that come across to someone with a different perspective?” Focus on education and curiosity, not shame or blame.
What if our leaders don’t see the value in civility or conflict training?
Help them connect the dots. Civility affects performance, retention, engagement, and reputation. Share data they care about. Remind them that HR already spends hours managing interpersonal issues. This work reduces that burden.
Start small. Offer a pilot workshop using GRACE. Show the impact. When leaders see how it makes their teams stronger and more resilient, they’ll get on board.
Can we use the GRACE Framework in remote or hybrid teams?
Absolutely. In fact, it’s especially useful in virtual settings where tone and body language are often lost. You can use GRACE to pause before responding to a tough message, to reflect on how you show up in digital spaces, and to de-escalate written misunderstandings.
It brings empathy and intention back into digital communication.
How do I launch a civility initiative at my company?
Start with one team or department. Bring in a training like Inclusivv’s Civility Training or Workshop. Use real scenarios and shared language to make it stick.
From there, build habits into the culture. Add ground rules to meetings. Give your managers practical tools. Recognize behavior that reflects your values.
Civility grows when it's practiced regularly, supported by leadership, and embedded into how people work together.
Ready to Transform Tension into Trust?
We’re here to help.
At Inclusivv, we believe every conversation is an opportunity to build connection.
We teach your teams how to have the hard conversations, without creating harm.
Our Civility Trainings and Workshops will give your people the tools, confidence, and language they need to navigate real-world tension, microaggressions, feedback, and more.
